Stereotypes are never fun, especially not on the internet. One group that has been regularly attacked by such stereotypes is the mommy blogger faction: Women who blog on these typically child-rearing, DIY, home life centered blogs are often deemed as greedy, uneducated, and bitchy, but this stereotype is often a misconception. As a pet blogger, I can relate to the plight of the mommy blogger, as our group sees it’s own stereotypes. I also know and love many mommy bloggers (and even got to write a guest post for one of them), and even cite The Bloggess, one of the O.G. mom bloggers, as one of my personal favorites to read.
On another note, on Life with Arie, I try to focus on positive and uplifting topics for the pet parents around me and those interested in animal welfare. This is usually a place for smiles and jokes and fun.
That being said, I just had the displeasure of discovering a fun little group of women who fit that stereotype perfectly, and who gave me a full afternoon of entertainment over their own ignorance and petty behavior. Today I’m afraid we have to discuss poor blog practices through the example of this blogger and her unfortunate audience.
The Back Story?
Today is the big SOPA/PIPA protest. If you don’t know about it, you should, as it would probably kill this blog and countless others on the web while harming free speech and the freedom of information. This has been a running topic at work as it could change the very fabric of social discourse and behavior, let alone our jobs completely. While chatting about the protest, one colleague sent me a link to a “Some E Cards” creation on Facebook, while marveling at the seemingly unknowing commentary under it. Here’s the card:
The conversation inciting wonder.
Under the photo, people were commenting about how having the internet strike was going to keep them more productive today. While I get the jokes, SOPA and PIPA are not something to joke about, especially if there’s a chance you aren’t informed, so I decided to comment.
I blacked out the comment maker's names for courtesy.
Little did I know that my comment would inspire a riot of mommy blogger wrath. I’m going to have to do this in several screen shots, so bear with me:
So apparently, because one person you don't approve of is support of the protest, you're against it? Clever. Important: Note the blog owner's disclaimer about how it's EQUAL OPPORTUNITY peace and love, and "be cool is the only rule."
So, we’re not entirely in dangerous territory….yet.
In this one, the mommy attacks ensue. My favorite is the comment about how They KNOW what the bill is about, and that it's hilarious to think it's about freedom of speech ...Really? 'Cause that's the issue. Also, MLKatie? Are you comparing me to Dr. King? If so, Thank you! The most disturbing here though, is the blogger's behavior. She seems to thank "her girls" for their comments, even though they're definitely not about peace or love.
And the badgering of the angry mommies continues…and gets personal.
When anyone says something is not to be rude, it usually is, and usually personal. Also, the link someone posted? It's about a student losing privileges at school for having a rebel flag on their car. We're talking about the freedom of speech for the whole population...not a controversial item on a child's car.
Here’s where the bad blogger behavior REALLY comes into play:
Aha. Here's where we get to the heart of the matter. Apparently it's not personal when you call someone a buzzkill. The important thing here? A blogger who can't stand up for her policies. Here, the blog host politely tells me to eff off, while not saying a word about the rude comments from her regulars. What a saint.
The grand finale! The mommy bloggers continue to gang up on the commentary. The blog writer here still says nothing about the negativity of her regular postings, and brushes off what support my comments do get.
I’m not usually one to bring a personal issue onto my blog, but for me, this goes beyond personal into good blogger business. When you blog to attract regular readers and even to become a business, it’s important to be loyal to your readers. You do this through:
- Consistent topics and ideas/Consistent behavior and sticking to your promises and policies
- Understanding the importance of your readers.
The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess managed to violate both of these principles in a day. Here’s how:
On her feed, the blogger says that she will devote herself to a day of silence for SOPA. “Shutting down for the day..make it a great one! ♥ DG”, but after that posts the card that sparked the insults and on her blog discussed pedicures. That’s a lot of silence.
In the description of the Facebook page that is a companion to her blog, the writer says this:
“ If there is one thing I know, it is that people want to matter. They want to be seen, heard, acknowledged and appreciated. On this page, you will matter…your opinions, your stories, anything you want to share will matter..and I will appreciate you. Let’s go have a laugh then, yes? (I must add the footnote – trolls and insulting posts will be poofed – and the user will disappear…this is my page so someone’s gotta be the sheriff”
The author herself created the some e card that stemmed the comment chain, and the subject matter of the card was the SOPA/PIPA protest. I voiced my opinion about the subject , card, and comments…and I’m pretty sure she didn’t appreciate them. The author also promises that “trolls and insulting posts will be poofed” — If she found my comment insulting, she could have easily sent me a message with warning. She also did not remove the insulting posts from her readers when they decided to jump on the angry mommy blogger band wagon.
Throughout the conversation under the photo, the blogger managed to poo-poo my comments which were for the most part trying to be informational, and completely ignore the insults hurled by her regular commenters. As a new reader to her blog and page, I was excited to see what she had to say. This is the first post I found a problem with, and as soon as I voiced an opinion, I was discarded like yesterday’s trash. To me, this tell me that the writer does not prize new commenters or new interactions; the same old nags will suffice.
All in all, I’m sure that the blogger is a nice person, and I’m sure she means well. This is not meant to talk about what a heinous person she is (though I have to admit I’m a little worried at the fact that some of the comments were written by people with children. Oh next generation, please be different!) Still, When a blogger showcases such a bad behavior, I’m afraid I can’t keep my mouth shut. When the mommy bloggers bite, I bite back, and I have the force of a White German Shepherd’s jaws behind me.
So friends, what do you think? Was my comment that inflammatory? Am I over reacting about the blogger’s behavior? I’d really love to get your opinions.
***Please see an update to this post here: http://lifewitharie.com/2012/03/08/middle-aged-internet-troll-and-cyber-bully/ Thank you.
Considering what a hideous thing SOPA could in fact be, if passed, I don’t think you were being too much of a buzzkill. And for somebody to say “I’d hate to hang out with you in real life” may or may not be true, FOR THEM, but as stated, does not fit with the “peace and love” nonsense that keeps getting repeated. A few other people stuck up for you as well, but that didn’t seem to matter.
That said, I’ve seen far worse flames on the Internet. I’d be ticked off and frustrated as well, and likely just not go back to “DG” there, as it’s clearly more of a clique than an open venue for discussion.
Hey Jen,
Def. agree with you that there are worse flames out there, and I don’t plan on going back to DG–More so just letting others know what she’s like so they won’t go either. She puts fuel on the fire of the mommy blogger bad rep, so I had to say something about her poor blogger etiquette.
I’m definitely glad to know. I won’t be going to her blog or Facebook anytime soon!
I find it hilarious that they were using Facebook to talk about all the time they spend on Pinterest, while claiming to know about the SOPA/PIPA issue.
Did they not realize that if SOPA/PIPA passed, they would no longer be able to use Pinterest or Facebook? As the sites, along with plenty of others would be blacklisted for violating the acts?
And, to attack you personally was just uncalled for. “Peace and love” indeed.
Thanks for commenting, Chas! It’s good to have you. I’m going to laugh if it passes (probably from Canada) and they start whining about how they can’t use Pinterest to pin baby photos anymore.
I didn’t find your comment inflammatory at all. Others in the thread took it to a personal level – ah, the bravery that comes when you’re hiding behind your computer screen. It never gets old…
I think you were right on – the blogger’s reaction was a bit off-putting and actually a bit too “silly girl twirling her hair” for me. The whole thing – both her reaction and the other comments – had a distinct mean girl vibe.
Today I also discovered that your blog feed had stopped updating in my Google Reader.
I fixed it though!
Glad we got the reader problem fixed, I would have missed you, and thanks for you comments! I think the mean girl vibe is dead on. I got bullied a lot as a child, so when I encounter them as an adult, I’m not afraid to call them on it. There’s no need for that!
ugh! this really annoyed me. and i don’t mean YOU annoyed me; i mean this whole thing. i agree with the other comments here, and i do not think you were doing anything wrong (this is what you get for trying to be helpful). it seems to me that these folks do not actually understand the blackout and they are self-conscious about being labeled as ignorant. i find that whenever anyone is quick to jump into a defensive or offensive mindset, it’s usually based in their own insecurities.
while i do understand feeling like people can’t take a joke–and maybe these folks simply don’t give a crap about SOPA/PIPA and are just goofing off–i don’t think their way of handling your input was mature or necessary. they very quickly took it to an ugly place for no good reason. if i were you, i wouldn’t give them or that blog another moment of your time.
I don’t plan on ever going back to her blog or Facebook page, unless I’m sharing a link with someone on poor blogger practices (like here). Thanks for all of your comments, Lauren! Its always a pleasure to have you here.
UPDATE: Today a friend sent me a link to this lovely Facebook again to show me one thing. The author and self declared goddess posted a comic from one of the websites I hold dear to my heart: The Oatmeal. So, by today’s laws, she’s already definitely violating the laws of copyright infringement, and could see a serious penalty. By the SOPA/PIPA standards, her arse would be in jail as we speak. Unfortunately, if you try to tell her that, the mommy bloggers will descend with their fangs.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this. It is a serious issue that they made light of and attacked you for being informed, not cool in my book.
While attacking you was bad, what’s even sadder still for me is their ignorance and how they will raise their children in ignorance. I can’t be bothered by people like that. Life is too short, and too precious.
I’ve tried to gently turn aside ignorant or hurtful comments on FB and regretted it. My policy is to make my stand so I’m not seen as supporting an idea that’s truly egregious. But some people like to argue for the sake of arguing.
I think they live in a talk radio world.
And I choose to walk away from those “conversations.”
I’m sorry you found your effort to inform folks about SOPA /PIPA so frustrating. But there are other folks out there with different mindsets who are willing to learn.
BTW, don’t forget to call your Senator and Representatives. These bills still have enough votes to pass and our reps seem to find phone calls more compelling than emails (which explains a lot, doesn’t it?).
Yep. It’s part of growing up for me to learn not to let things like this get under my skin–It doesn’t hurt me personally, but it bothers me that people choose ignorance. I definitely did call my reps and let them know my sentiments. Just so you know, Congress dropped the bills today. Smith withdrew SOPA, and they decided to drop PIPA (at least for now). http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46072484/ns/today-today_tech/t/congress-withdraws-sopa-pipa-anti-piracy-measures/#.Txm3hPlNuSo Hooray for mass protest!
I’ve just written a dog comment as Pippa elsewhere on your blog but thought this one should come from me (!). I can understand you wanting to comment on something important that people were treating as a joke – I’ve done the same. Sometimes there are issues where everyone piles on and agrees with each other, and in my case, I feel it is important to point out that not everyone has the same point of view and that there are other perspectives.
Needless to state I’ve been defriended and abused on FB for saying something that other people didn’t agree with. There is no one right view, but it would be nice to be able to have reasonable balanced discussions – mostly you can, but sometimes it doesn’t work out like that. And I think it is important to stand up for your views, especially on issues that encroach on peoples’ rights and freedoms. (And animal rights too as far as that goes).
On the plus side, some friends said they were interested in some of the discussions on my own page, and hoped, even after some controversial topics, that I wouldn’t stop initiating discussion. But in the end, I decided it wasn’t a good use of time, and ditched FB.
In your case, as Jen said, it seemed pretty typical of a FB discussion thread, where objectivity goes out of the window, and it becomes too personalised, whether directly or snarkily. And in the FB environment, it can actually be quite difficult to comment about something in which you are very interested, up-to-date on the issues, and dealing with people who may not even bother reading the links. Which does happen.
No-one’s really addressed your questions have they? Was your comment inflammatory? No. It was valid – but maybe some of the posters felt their cosy group was being interrupted, and criticised. Dunno, just guessing here, based on my previous experiences. Your title for the post sums it up really, because it is pack mentality.
Are you over-reacting? I would say no, I often blog about my internet fall-outs
Other people would say you were, and it wasn’t anything to get worked up about. And that is the whole issue, I think. When it is something you are personally committed to – and you invest time and effort, it hurts when people belittle you and whatever the issue is.
That was nearly as long as your blog post!!
Sometimes you just have a lot to say, so no worries about the long comment. Facebook fights have become almost humorous to me–Adults should be long past them, but they still crop up everywhere. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your opinion, and your friends should understand that–To each their own, and what not.
Seriously, if you don’t like what she’s blogging about stay off get page!! Like, if you font like what’s on TV or the radio change the channel. Badgering people on a public forum and then crying about their and their followers response seems pretty childish. Rant on your own blog!!
How bizarre – I logged in as me, with my website and my name takes you to my site but it came up with Pippa’s pic. oh well
Hello –
After reading this thread, I am so devastated that I will be shutting down my Facebook page as well as my blog. I had no idea I was under attack for being a poor humor blogger. Please accept my apologies for your being insulted. Truly, I am a kind person and that was not my hope for your outcome.
Kind regards,
the underachieving domestic goddess
I don’t understand why bringing a Facebook argument here, and directly attacking someone’s Facebook page and blog, isn’t petty or bitchy? Aren’t you being a bit hypocritical?
What an evil person you are my dear….how dare you post such trash talk about a person you clearly know NOTHING about.
The shame in this entire thing is, she WAS trying to make things light and fun….clearly FUN isn’t in your vocab.
Yes, you’re over-reacting. You are being a bit defensive and coming from a perspective of not being heard or feeling valued for the information you were trying to get out. You didn’t get the serious reaction you wanted and did a bit of lashing out in defense of your positions. Consider the intent of the blogger, the atmosphere she’s trying to provide. It was just simply not the place to have a serious discussion. When you’re a mom to young kids you really need a place to exhale and laugh and feel okay and feel some community with other moms.
Katie – personally, I believe you opened yourself up to attack. Why would you even bother to try to teach other people about something on a page meant for entertainment. What was so bad about the “Internet Strike” e-card that so offended you that you felt the need to comment at all? And, if you’re such a good person, and you obviously see yourself as better than the “blogger” you are bashing, why are you trashing her on your own blog? It seems to me that you are lowering yourself to the standards you are condemning. Someone above commented that they were sorry you “had to go through that”. Really? You created the situation and continued to fan the flames by continuing to comment. If you were so above it, why did you continue on? It doesn’t make sense.
I really hope you can dig deep and pull a sense of humor out bc your apparently don’t have one!!! And you might want to pull that stick out of your ***!!!
So, you can attack them but they can’t attack you??? Seriously? Was it that time of the month for you, cuz you seem REALLY touchy….. Someone said they wouldn’t want to hang out with you in real life cuz you’re a buzz kill is “trashing” you? Are you saying this with a straight face?
This is clearly you pitching a fit because they didn’t say “Thank you Katie, you are correct. Thank you so much for unashamedly informing us of our immaturity. Thank you for saving us from utter destruction.”
Thank you, Katie, for saving me from EVER being associated with your page beyond this.
I find it interesting that you would waste an entire blog post on someone you find so meaningless. I’m also pretty sure there have been multiple DG friends who have tried submitting comments that you have likely deleted…despite my plea to not give you or your blog any additional and unnecessary publicity. You are merely perpetuating that hateful mommy blogger stereotype with this post. Taking screenshots including DGs facebook profile name is a very aggressive and downright bitchy move. So thank you…thank you for reinforcing our supportive mommy blogger network and a huge sarcastic thank you for continuing to make us all look like a bunch of bored, bullying, bon-bon eating, internet trolling, uneducated women with nothing better to talk about.
This is all silly.
You need to get laid, pronto.
I love these women…. They are hilarious and have the hardest job in the world….raising children. They are far different and way more stressful than dogs…trust me I have a dog and I do not have children. I do work with children often and the two do not compare. So, enjoy your freedom. These ladies do not get much between working and being a real parent.(of a human)
These women simply want a break from being a break from being a mom….just for a brief moment…they just want to cut up , have fun and laugh. You came in all serious …. which really is not what they are about….interjecting where you were not really welcomed. You got your feelings hurt bc your dear cause was not embraced. BTW, that does not mean these ladies do not care about SOPA or PIPA…you just came in with the tact of a homeless person at a cocktail party…..time and place for everything. My suggestion to you is ~~GET A BACKBONE & leave the fun blogs alone….you clearly do not have a sense of humor !!!! Have a splendid day.
Denise
Why did you “like” her FB page if you didn’t like what she was posting?
While I understand your issue on this topic and I truly do understand the implications of SOPA/PIPA… I wonder why you chose to engage with a group of “mommys” that weren’t interested in what you were saying? I think it was great that you offered the initial explanation, but after that I would have let it go. Surely there was another audience who would have loved to have you as a teacher? I am sad to say that the Domestic Goddess is ending her blog today. She announced on Facebook that she is just devastated by this blog entry you wrote. I guess she only came across it recently? Anyway, her blog does serve a purpose to many “mommys”. Just thought, as a fellow blogger, you would be interested. Check out what she says… https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Underachievers-Guide-to-Being-a-Domestic-Goddess/296183563760021
Thanks for listening.
You found the need to blog about a humor site that you stumbled upon by accident being humorous? Lady, you need to leave the house a little more often so you have other things to write about.
Katie,
I am very late to this party. Here’s my take: You said what you wanted to say in a forum where it was not well received. Probably, rather than continuing to defend your post…which by the way, was entirely appropriate and fine…you should have said “okay, that’s my opinion now I’m done”. I have found that often, no matter how well intended we are, if your audience isn’t receptive, you can’t change the course of a conversation. So while you may not have liked the Blogger’s position and reaction, you are equally at fault for persisting in a conversation that no one really wanted to have. This is a true no win…not for you and not for the Blogger. In my estimation, she was trying to be gracious and you persisted out of a need to be right. Your point was made. Here’s your result: as of 3 pm today, this gal is shutting down both her page and blog. She is crushed and heartbroken. This is a direct result of this post. I hope that was not your intended result but it’s what you’re getting. Your need to be “right” has caused a great deal of pain for a woman who really doesn’t deserve it.
bad blogger behavior??? The only bad blog behavior I see is coming from you. The writer of this blog was nothing if trying to steer clear of an argument and kept it very cool on her end. You can’t out her blog like this because of her readers comments and why is it ok for you to say “little group of women who fit that stereotype perfectly, and who gave me a full afternoon of entertainment over their own ignorance and petty behavior”
Why is that ok for YOU to say but not ok for someone else to say something hurtful about you. You were not only attacking the woman who writes this blog but the whole bunch.
I WAS a reader of your blog but no more. I think I’ll head over to her blog instead for a good laugh.
hi Katie, never read your blog other than today bcz of a link to this story. I read everything you posted here and I really think that you taking the time to repost the whole situation seems pretty naiive to me. You were posting “the Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess.” Did you seriously expect to rally political activism in the author and readers of that FB page? I believe that was your first mistake.
Your second mistake was when you saw their responses to keep the debate going. I understand wanting to inform people about SOPA/PIPA, imo it is one of the most dangerous issues to hit the internet airwaves since its’ inception, and I would have also tried to re-inform and correct their misconception that it isn’t going to infringe on our rights to freedom of speech, but the fact that they said “WE KNOW….blah…and its about hacking and copyright infringement, not freedom of speech” should have told you right there that the audience you were dealing with were ignorant.
I, for one, appreciate you trying to get this information out there and educate the misinformed. But use your powers of persuasion in a more productive way, whether it’s in a healthy debate with informed people who disagree, or by informing the UNinformed. Wasting your “breath” not only is a waste of your time and resources, but I believe that your staunch “this is nothing to laugh about even though I’m obviously on a satirical, humor-based FB page” could have done more harm than good for “the cause.”
Just my less than 2 cents worth.
Personally I think you suck! You want to go to someone else’s page and you tried to cause problems on purpose. If you don’t like it than don’t read and don’t comment. It is people like you that can’t take a joke that make the rest of the world a boring place. Get over yourself. I would much rather read a post were people have a sence of humor than a post that wants to try to cause problems for other people. I don’t know what horse you think you rode in on but you can dismount at any time and I hope you step in a pile of shit when you do!
You are being overly sensitive. Get a life, that doesn’t revolve around being a “pet parent”. Lame. You can’t force people to care about the bills, they have a right to ignorance as much as you have a right to try and turn a care free page into a learning forum. If people want to educate themselves on the bill, they will likely not look to their favorite comedic relief pages to do so. You shoving it down their throats and trying to chastise them for being uninformed doesn’t make you a better person, so I hope your little pat on the back makes it’s way up to the back of your head.
Just discovered you through the DG’s facebook page. She’s saying she’s decided to delete her fb page and blog as of today at 3pm. She’s hurt and offended and she has well over a hundred people practically begging her not to shut down and give in to the “internet bullying” by you.
It’s laughable, really.
I just “liked” her on fb and have only read a post or two of hers, so I’m not too sad about it. After reading your post, I’m feeling pretty good about unliking her. Of course, only after all of this drama dies down. LOL
Thanks for making light of this. I hate that kind of hypocritical behavior, and I refuse to be associated with pages that contradict themselves. Peace.
I also think you should post all of the comments you are about to be flooded with….what is fair is fair…good for the good then good for the gander. RIGHT !
Why didn’t you just leave it alone either? Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and walk away.
Also, if you are asking if you were did anything wrong… you might be feeling a little guilty.
Heres the thing, I have read your blog and I like to read “The Goddess” too, I am not a “mommie” nor do I fit into any of the boxes you list above and I personally think something needs to be said here. I say the following without wanting to upset or point fingers at anybody. so please be calm while you read this, and consider what I am saying, I appreciate there are other views, but I feel everyone is entitled and should be allowed to speak theirs.
SO.
Firstly, I think that the SOPA/PIPA Issue is understood by and worries the majority of people
Secondly, The postcard was an attempt to inject humour into a serious situation and give people a bit of light relief while also highlighting the cause. Plus if somebody HAD been uninformed and had seen that, they probably would have been tempted to try and find out more information on the subject. A good thing I am sure you will agree.
Thirdly, Personally I do think that you over reacted to the situation
I think that the Goddess was trying (and actually tried in a very mature and calm way) to draw others comments from you and not encouraging them as you percieve.
Lastly, Your comments have been read by the goddess, who is actually quite upset by some of the things you have said.
I applaud your passion, dedication and intelligence, I really do, but maybe next time, consideration of the other person/people involved POV would make your posts far less likely to cause such upset.
Best wishes, and thankyou for an enlightened and caring blog
Hi there. I’d like to request that you stop your whining. I don’t often get called a rabid mommy blogger. Today’s a first. Should I go make a blogpost bitching about it? Go to my facebook page Lucy Christ Cranfill and you can see that I’m a 19 year old girl with absolutely NO children. I am a fan of The Underachiever’s Guide to being a Domestic Goddess for the laughs. It is a page where you don’t get into arguments about ideals and politics but get to laugh at funny eCards. Another thing you would learn on my facebook if you went far enough is that I called my congressman to oppose SOPA and I posted plenty on CERTAIN sites and on MY OWN facebook concerning the seriousness of such a matter. One thing that I didn’t do is go do is start posting about it to people who weren’t interested in the least. I guess we are like a clique at that blog ( which I bet is biting you in the ass today, eh?) in the way that we will push away the people are making the blog an uncomfortable place for others. I love how you are bitching about how she didn’t message you personally when YOU made a blogpost about this. She didn’t do that. What a double standard. What an ego. Oh poor you. AND she let your comment stay up on her page when I would bet that this won’t even make it through like the wave of other comments you will be getting today now that your blog is up. And funnily enough DOMESTIC GODDESS isn’t even the person that linked you blog. You can thank a FOLLOWER for that. Looks like the better person tally is adding up on someone other than you. I feel sorry that you need constant reassurance from other bloggers to make sure your own opinions are valid and that you have such soft skin that you seem to think ‘buzzkill’ is a word that trashes you as a human being. And as for me being in some sort of ‘pack’, I wouldn’t have said a thing on here if you hadn’t used my comments on your blog.
I am not a regular groupie of either of your blogs, but can tell you from an entirely neutral POV that you are the one creating drama here. You were treated with respect until you began belittling those posting. I highly suggest you get off the Internet and try to lighten up. Or are you still in middle school? Seriously, Katie, there was nothing offensive said by anyone on those posts except you.
What you did to this blogger is cruel, wrong, and nothing short of criminal in intent and behavior. Nice. You are quite two-faced, obviously.
Just looking at the comments you made, while not inflammatory, you appear to want to censor her for having a good attitude. You’ve reduced a woman to the point of giving up for your own agenda. The whole freedom of speech points to being able to have your own opinions. Just because everyone isn’t using their blog to go political on us all isn’t a reason to bash their mommy blog and all of their readers. Everyone seems to be well aware of what’s going on. You however seem to have zero sense of humor about anything. So basically you’re contradicting yourself. You say you’re against censorship but you want to force this woman to be more political on her own blog? Not post humorous stuff about a topic you hold near and dear? CENSORSHIP! You had “mommy fangs sunk into you” as you call it because you did the exact opposite of what you preached. And my bet is on you’ll censor this post and remove it because it doesn’t fit your little realm. Pick your side and stick to it. No one was against you cause but the rest of us choose to have a sense of humor because if we poured ourselves into each and every cause you people want us to pour into our hearts would break into pieces when these causes go COMPLETELY unnoticed by politicians and they go ahead with their laws without our consent.
I found this blog today after discovering through the “rabid mommy blogger” grapevine that the woman whom you referenced in this piece was contemplating shutting down both her Facebook page and her blog after having stumbled across and read what you felt so compelled to share about her.
While I certainly do not question your right to use your blog to share your thoughts about whatever subjects you choose to discuss, I do think that you could stand to learn a few things about the way that the world works, especially as it plays out on Facebook.
Page Admins on Facebook, such as myself and the woman you chose to publicly attack, often create our pages to fill a void in our lives. The infamous “Mommy Blogger” is usually just a normal housewife trying to get through her day without letting her children absorb every last shred of her identity. Not to knock pet ownership, but it doesn’t exactly equate to the same thing as being the parent of a demanding and complex human child.
Our fans are a vast and varied lot of individuals who have been drawn to our pages for many different reasons. Some of them identify with us as mothers, some with our thoughts on certain issues, and a whole lot of them because they saw a funny picture or two that they saw that we posted simply because it made us laugh for a second. Few of them are page admins or bloggers themselves, because maintaining a successful page takes a good deal of the spare time we don’t have, and doesn’t leave much time for following another person’s page.
Over time we build friendships with these fans and with the small group of other pages that we do make time to interact with. We rarely know much about each other, but we find some small thing we have in common, and we connect on the basis of that shared interest. Our loyal fans become extended family to us, but better than family by virtue of not bothering us after we step away from our computers and back to our real lives.
I get the impression from the conversation that you were so kind as to share that you were not a fan of this page prior to this incident. what you did when you chose to comment was to “troll” this page by posting comments that were meant to inflame and were frankly quite rude. This is frowned upon in “Facebook society” and is typically met with the wrath of not only the page admin, but also their fans. Fans recognize that you are not trying to join in an a discussion, you are simply trying to point out why someone else is wrong because they don’t agree with you. I’m frankly surprised that you haven’t already learned the lesson in your life that not everyone HAS to agree with you.
Many of the pages who chose to participate in the SOPA/PIPA strike did so out of a sense of solidarity towards their fellow pages who felt strongly about the issue. Many of our fans ridiculed our decisions and not everyone was as committed as some. Much like real life.
I notice that you blacked out the names of everyone who participated in the discussion other than the page and yourself, which leads me to believe that the other participants were not in fact page admins themselves, or bloggers, or anything other than ordinary Johns and Jills who took offense to you attacking their opinions and the actions of the page admin that they enjoy.
The page admin maintained a polite and respectful attitude towards you throughout the conversation, and simply asked that you be respectful of the opinions of other, likely regular, fans. You were not satisfied with that, and seem to be bothered by the fact that this woman did not rush to your defense in opposition to her fans. Frankly, the only one who appears to have not degenerated to a spit flinging frenzy was the page admin, and yet she is the one you chose to focus your attack on.
I would suggest that you think before you post in the future, and consider blocking out ALL the names of the people involved other than yourself should you choose to do another piece like this. Some of these crazy mommy bloggers are actually associated with their brand in the world beyond Facebook, and you are running the risk of getting yourself sued for slander when you go up against them. At best, you are giving free publicity to someone that you are trying to tear down, and that usually leads to us getting more fans who are bothered by the way that we are unfairly attacked.
I’m not a blogger so I can’t be sterotyped into any blogger group. But I have just got to say that, if you had actually been following her page you’d know its not a place to get serious about anything. Your post here is meaner than anything that was said to you. I do know about the possible law and learned about it in detail in one of my business classes. Yeah, its a serious issue, and its great to educate others about it, but there is a time and place for it. The card was to be funny… Now laugh it off as it was intended and move along with your pet blogging or whatever.
Hi there – I know I am kind of late to this party, but I had never heard of the original blogger or you until today. I read through this twice to be sure that I understood your experience and perspective that you shared here. Frankly, I think you did overreact initially. It seems almost as though you read the original joke as an ignorant attack on the SOPA/PIPA issue and the people who were protesting it. If she had said “I hope that SOPA gets passed so I can finally do all the shit I have been putting off for months” then I would understand your outrage. It seems to me, however, she was basically supporting the boycott, no? Your initial comment makes no sense – it appears you didn’t get the joke – she never said it was a strike about productivity. She only said that if she wasn’t going to be online all day she would get a lot done. You made an assumption that was completely erroneous and started with that. In addition, I really feel that your initial comment had a really condescending tone. The use of all caps in the word “learn” was clearly an attack. How did you expect them to react? You called them ignorant and uneducated – and even if that were true, it is not a good way to be heard. From my perspective you charged in to a group whose agreements and mores you did not understand and played the PC police. If your second post had been your first, my guess is people would have reacted much differently, but the fact is you started out with a hostile and demeaning comment – and for all your protestations, the original blogger did leave up your unpleasant comment along with her regular readers comments -so she was being consistent. Now, I will give you credit after your initial remark you did pull it back and sincerely tried to be informative without being inflammatory for a couple of comments, even while being attacked. All of which I would be fine with – there is plenty of room for disagreement out there and I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to people getting a little hostile or aggressive online (it is easy to do). However, to then post an entire blog about how badly behaved other people are, to put yourself out there as an expert on “poor blog practices” when you actually started it with what seems to me to be some pretty bad behavior and then not own up to it seems like fairly hypocritical behavior. And then to ready all of your regular readers comments about how horrible those other commenters were while doing the exact same thing by insulting them and their children – I mean – you read your blog about how wrong that is, right?
All I am saying is own up to your own behavior that you called out as bad behavior and don’t condone the people on your blog doing the thing you are slamming others for doing. Well – don’t do all that and then ask for my opinion – you are welcome to be as badly behaved as you like in your own space. I do think that your passion for the topic triggered you perhaps had you in an emotional space that prevented you from seeing that your initial outrage was not entirely in alignment from what was said.
I sincerely hope I said all this in a respectful way – there was unfortunate behavior all around, but those folks didn’t ask me my opinion.
Although I feel you had every right to say ur peace and speak your mind, as well as try and educate others on something that u obviosuly feel very strongly about, I think that after you said ur side, educated or whatever you needed to get off your chest, that should have been the end of it. I feel that this turned into a personal thing on both sides, honestly. Otherwise, you would have ended this and not continued to respond either. So, honestly, I think everyone was in the wrong to a certain extent. I do not blog, nor do I have my own FB page, but I can imgaine with either, that there will always be someone you irritate, don’t agree with, etc. Yet, no one forces you to follow anyone or read their blogs, FB pages, pics or whatever it is you choose to commment on, so when your input was not kindly accepted, then why not just walk away? To me, you all did the same thing here. I came across this whole situation by accident, and noticed that the person that administers that page you argued with is now shutting down her page and blog as a result of this blog you wrote b/c it deeply upset her. In my opinion, your comments on her FB page weren;t that bad, BUT this blog was a direct attack in my eyes and just b/c at the end of this rant you say your sure she’s a good person and all, it’s obvious you feel the opposite or you wouldn’t have kept this going so long and made such an enormous deal out it. Sorry, I am sure this comment will get attakced left and right and you will not appreciate it but I feel that what I am doing here is the same u did yesterday on her FB page…
Unfortunately, you were pulled into the middle of a FB tangent that was never going to be about anything as serious as SOPA/PIPA. If folks didn’t want to play, they could have ignored the lesson in current legislative events. I love Facebook, and I hate Facebook. But I find that many mommy bloggers (and I guess I am a very minor player in that category) are very different in their blogs when compared to their Facebook pages. As a commenter, you were treated rudely and with unnecessary meanness, which means the deputy wasn’t doing her job. It reads like she avoids confrontation–more of a hand-wringing, “everyone play nice” mommy. But one status does not paint a whole picture. Meanwhile, at least one good thing has come of it all. I had never seen your blog before, and your beautiful Arie warms my heart!
I realize that this situation has gotten totally out of control, but I am a very well educated, bright MOM that very much enjoys the blog that you have tried to demoralize. You seem to assert yourself as a strong, woman with strong beliefs that you would like to share. You may want to “share” your information in the correct forum. A publicly self professed humorous page about mothering may not be the arena for the SOPA discussion. I see you are trying to make a point regarding political issues, but once you provide the information, wouldn’t it be smart to walk away rather that flame a fire? You have hard working women trying to laugh about the everyday hardships of life as a mom. Why would you want to even be involved if you don’t understand the purpose of the group? Your ignorance shines through to all of us in “the pack”. You are correct about the “mommy pack” comment. We do stick together. Perhaps it is the motherly, protective instinct we get once a child is ripped from our loins. I am proud to be a member of the pack. Survival is much easier among friends than being a loner to be eaten alive. I hope that all of the interaction this situation has rendered will bring you clarity, and you can therefore better yourself.
I also notice that you have not posted any comments that may question your ability as a blogger and your involvement in this battle of the blogs. That, in itself, speaks volumes!
I just wanted to say that I didn’t think your comment was unreasonable. You were attempting to be informative. With that said, her blog and fb page are about having fun, and laughing at life. I don’t think it’s fair that you trashed her blog and readers because a few people said they didn’t like your attitude. There were supportive comments also. She simply didn’t like the continued bickering. She’s a peacekeeper in personality, and didn’t want an argument on a page that’s supposed to be enjoyable. Remember that blogging and commenting isn’t like speaking in real life. It’s hard to know how people are really feeling, and you can interpret things in different ways based in your point of view. I think giving her another chance, and not judging so harshly would be a better choice.
I’m sorry, but it seems to me like you are over-reacting. Considering she was JOKING (which was very obvious to me from the start) and YOU kept posting & egging people on, I think you were in the wrong…but who am I to judge? People just need to quit getting butt-hurt over internet disagreements.
On a side note: Did you REALLY compare having a dog with a child/children? Silly, Silly person. Pet Parents…what a joke. 100% not the same thing.
Sorry I am late, but I just came across this post. I agree that some of the comments are uncalled for, but the blogger seems to be trying to make it light and not too serious to avoid things getting out of hand. You took it to a whole new level by writing this. I feel that people should be able to express their feelings and you were obviously feeling attacked. I just feel that this blog post was an attack on the blogger who did not say anything bad about you and you also lumped ALL of her readers in with basically 1 who insulted you. That’s no better than the insult. I really hope that this was a gut reaction and not meant to harm the other blogger in any way.
KMoore, I actually do think you are overreacting. I also don’t think anyone was really attacking you. I don’t see the need for all the drama.
Wow. I don’t care if you blog about pets or kids, I believe we all graduated high school here. You were attacked, but you also felt the need to look down your nose at a joke… An e-card. I don’t believe those women were uneducated in any way, just making light of a situation. Why take such offence? You took the time out of your day to label these people as ignorant, and devote an entire page to THEIR “petty behavior”. Are you not in return attacking them and desperately seeking reassurance that you are right and they are wrong? Who is petty here, leaving petty little comments after each Facebook snippet you took the time to print off and edit with a magic marker? Why bother wasting another second of your life drawing attention to a situation you yourself label as petty? Let it go. Don’t be the pathetic Blogger to drag it out. I think her E-card summed it up best…regardless of the governmental threats, some people do need to step away from the internet and do something productive with their time.
Your entire post here is a complete contradiction. You are complaining about getting “jumped” and belittled on HER page/thread/whatever but what are you doing here? You put yourself in the midst of a “discussion” and when people reacted negatively to you initially, it should have been a sign for you to back off but you kept pushing it and pushing it. I’d say you fueled your own fire and you got burned only to turn up here, in your own “territory” to call her out BY NAME and ask your attack dogs to jump on your bandwagon to berate her. So far I don’t see a lot of responses to your post and not a single one seems to come from someone you don’t know – and whaddaya know? They all agree with you…. whoda thunk it?!
There are people out there who don’t want to be serious about everything ALL the time and that’s what I gather from her site – it’s a place to blow off steam and make light of things. You were trying to forcefeed seriousness to an already established group which disrupted their dynamic. So what if they got on FB that day? Was it a crime? – Nope!
You were a dog trying to assert yourself among a group of cats and you got hissed at. That should be an easy enough anaolgy for you to wrap your head around. But rather than taking it for what it was, you outdid ALL of the cats by posting this in the manner that you did. You smeared her name so you could feel better when she did no such thing to you. You asked a question to rally your “rabid pack” behind you and you are, quite frankly, toxic.
As a neither a blogger nor a follower of either blog, I am compelled to tell you that as a person, you are an epic asshat. So put that in your pooper-scooper and bag it!
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